Oh, the Horror!

Parenthood is not for intensely vain people. My husband-to-be falls nicely into this category; he’s also incredibly good looking, and conveniently enough, doesn’t have to work hard to remain that way. NOT REALLY THE CASE FOR MOMMY. Ya know that “one teeny stretch mark” I mentioned around 30 weeks? It procreated. Morphed itself across my lower tummy into what can only be described as an act of God. Good Lord, what have I done to deserve these?! I swear, after I turned 23, I became a decent human being, and everything before that was just youthful indiscretion! Please, please take my purple stretchies back to where ever the Hell they came from! I’ll be good!